When You Don’t Know What to Do

It’s hard to know what to say and I’m finding it even harder to know what to do in these times.

I want to begin by acknowledging the pain, outrage, and grief many of us are feeling. It’s real and it feels overwhelming for sure. And I wish I had wisdom to offer about what we need to do at this moment. But the truth is, I don’t. I’ve been grappling with the same question you may be asking. What do I do?

Last year was an incredibly difficult year for me. The mix of anger and grief I carried was so overwhelming that it clouded my judgment at a time when being clear-minded mattered most. I was so emotionally flooded that I couldn’t see a way forward, no matter how hard I tried.

And then, at one point in the middle of all that intensity, a simple message came through. I was not in a state to make decisions. What I needed most was to turn things over to Spirit, to stop trying to force clarity, and to trust that when the time came, the next right step would be revealed.

So that’s what I did. I let go of trying to figure out how everything was going to end up and put it in Spirit’s hands. I focused on feeling what needed to be felt. I spent long stretches of time with the land, seeking stable ground, and waiting. Ground. Feel. Ground again.

And eventually, clarity did come at exactly the right time. The next right step revealed itself and I took it. 

Now, here I am again.

I look at the chaos that’s happening in our country and I feel that question rise up again. What do I do? (Besides calling senators and representatives over and over…) A big part of me wants to rage out of control alongside all the outrage. I mean come on! what the actual f*@k is happening?!

And yet, I am noticing signs that something else may be needed.

Around the same time the world felt like it was spiraling further into unimaginable chaos, the Walk for Peace monks passed through Charlotte, carrying the message “Peace starts from within.” I stood on a sidewalk in the city as they walked by. The interaction lasted maybe ten seconds yet it was deeply moving.

The monks embody peace, kindness, and compassion and that energy is palpable as it radiates from them. Being in their presence caused me to tear up, and when I looked around, I noticed I wasn’t the only one crying.

In one of his peace talks, Venerable Bhikkhu Pannakara, shared how people sometimes cuss at them or accelerate past on the road, deliberately covering them in black exhaust. And still, the monks respond with loving kindness. May you be well, happy, and at peace.

A few days ago, an image popped into my Facebook feed that read, “What you’re seeing is terrible but we still have to plant the seeds.”

That landed. What we are seeing is terrible AND we still have to plant seeds.

For right now, that’s my practice. Planting seeds of peace within. Grounding. Spending time with the land. Because I know, from lived experience, that it’s only from this place that the next right step becomes clear. This is not about bypassing what’s happening or turning away from responsibility. It’s about tending the inner ground so actions, when they come, are rooted and wise rather than reactive.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed and not clear on what to do, I invite you to step outside and find ground. Place your attention on your feet. Feel the point of contact with the Earth beneath you. Noticing your breath, feel into your sense of stability, and be held by the Earth. Allow yourself to settle. Feel into your heart space (and perhaps say a prayer or two). Do this over and over again.

We don’t have to have all the answers about what to do right now. But we can choose to tend the ground we’re standing on.

And from there, we listen.